“Hey, look at me! No. Really. Look at me.”

If you take a minute to analyze what’s being put in front of you today by individuals and companies marketing themselves, you might determine that solipsism has become the standard in our industry.

It’s like that feeling from high school where there is that one kid who focuses all the attention on themselves, seemingly sucking the air out of the room for everyone else.

Obviously, our social media “influencers” come to mind almost immediately. But it’s not just them. It’s our athletes, our coaches, our doctors and lawyers, our technology leaders and business people, our artists, and of course, the cartoon villains we have running our federal government. It’s all me, me, me, and me.    

I think this is one of the reasons many of us have that hollow or empty feeling after going online.

The worst part?

This form of marketing actually works (for many of the people or organizations that do this) because (let’s face it) if you repeat something over and over again (ME!), it eventually takes hold.

To be clear, I’m not against self-promotion, especially methods that generate real business. And I’m certainly not against solopreneurs who have to go out and fight for new clients or to get attention. Indeed, we’re often the ones pushing businesses to be more aggressive about putting themselves out there because many of the owners tend to be more reticent.

That said, I also think there is a limit to self-promotion and there are certainly other ways to make individuals aware of your expertise and/or your products/services, without being so “self-oriented.”

What Do You Do If You Want to Focus on ‘Anything But You’

The truth is, there’s a huge difference between visibility and vanity. Building awareness doesn’t mean shouting the loudest; it means saying something that matters. You want people to stop scrolling, not because you’re waving your arms, but because you’ve offered an idea, an insight, or a perspective that changes how they might think.

Here are six ways to shift the spotlight from yourself and still win attention in a way that you can live with.

No. 1: Trade Attention for Value

Use your expertise to give people something they can actually use. Maybe this is an uncommon insight, a practical tip, or a new way of thinking about their problem. When you share knowledge freely, you earn what behavioral scientists call social currency,  the credibility people gain when they share something smart that came from you. If your post makes someone in your audience look good for sharing it, you’ve already won.

No. 2: Use Your Audience as the Hero or Focus

Try flipping the script on vanity marketing and put the focus on customers, who are the real protagonists. In other words, why not tell stories about your clients’ challenges and successes (with permission), focusing on how they solved a problem, not on how brilliant you were? When people see themselves reflected in a story from their peers, they can potentially resonate with your brand more deeply.

No 3: Build Authority Through Proof, Not Proclamation

Anyone can call themselves an expert. The real authority comes from what others say about you. Instead of telling people how great you are, showcase testimonials, case studies, or third-party validation. Real stories from real people carry infinitely more weight than another “Look at me” post.

No. 4:  Let Your Product or Service Do the Talking

Some of the world’s best brands don’t rely on constant self-promotion. They rely on the consistency and excellence of what they deliver. If your product truly solves a pain point or creates delight, word spreads naturally. Invest as much in making that experience remarkable as you do in making noise about it.

No. 5: Join Conversations, Just Don’t Dominate Them

Thought leadership is about perspective, not ego. Comment thoughtfully on industry news, cite credible sources, and highlight others’ work. That not only keeps your brand visible but also aligns you with a community of people who value ideas over self-promotion. 

No. 6: Don’t Think You Have to Please Everyone, Either

We live in a polarized world. Period. Playing it safe has become a default mode for many businesses, especially in a time when one wrong post can create backlash. But avoiding all opinion or personality is the fastest way to become invisible.

It’s a hard balance to strike, and certainly some would accuse us of being heavily on a particular side of many issues. The key, for you, is to understand what you’re comfortable with. Perhaps it’s not to pander or provoke, it’s to be thoughtful. After all, you can acknowledge complexity in the world without taking cheap shots or oversimplifying. Maybe your point of view attracts some people more than others; that’s fine. True authority often comes from articulating insights so intelligently and fairly that even those who disagree still stop and think.

Conclusion

Marketing doesn’t have to be all self-oriented.  When you lead with curiosity, generosity, and genuine expertise, you stop shouting “Me!” and start prompting others to say, “That’s worth paying attention to.” In a feed full of vanity, humility and value stand out more than ever. If you need help further refining your approach, don’t hesitate to contact us for a free consultation.