In looking back at all the blogs we’ve drafted at Marketing Nice Guys, I came to realize one thing the other day: We’ve never actually written in depth about one core marketing principle, which is often cited by those in the field – that marketing is ultimately about the process of developing (and sustaining) a relationship with customers.

Yes, it’s a cliché. And it’s perhaps an overused one as well. But when most marketers utter the phrase – “marketing is about relationships” – the explanation usually stops there. We don’t get into why or how marketing actually does mirror the process of a courtship in many ways.    

So, with that, we thought we’d have a little fun with this one. Similar to what plays out between people in romantic relationship, here are the 4 phases of a marketing courtship with customers.

Phase 1: The First Date or First Impression

Think about your own dating life. In this phase, you could be set up on a blind date, meet someone at a bar, or you be looking to find a potential partner on Tinder, Hinge, or Match.com (for you older folks).

How It’s Like Marketing:

• • However you meet or connect, you want to make a good first impression. On a date or when you post a photo in Hinge, that means looking visually impressive or attractive. As a company, do you put your best face forward when marketing to new potential customers? Do you use great images, visuals in your marketing as well as say the right things?
  • Sometimes that meeting is planned, sometimes it’s random. In the dating world, meeting someone can be either planned or random. Sometimes, you’re set up. Sometimes, it’s a purposeful search. The same is true with marketing. It might be that they find your website, see your social posts or have someone else refer you. The question for companies is two-fold: a.) Are you ready and are you presentable whatever the circumstance? And; b.) Are you showing up in the right places to attract the right potential partners to start with?
  • You have to hook them with something unique. If you’re exactly like all the other potential suitors on that first date or in your profile, you’ll probably find that you don’t attract must interest because you really don’t stand out. And there’s no reason to choose you. In marketing, that hook is equally important. What makes your company unique or memorable? In dating and in marketing, it pays to be authentic as well as you don’t want to represent something you’re not either.

Phase 2: The Second Date and Beyond: Dating Phase

OK, so you got the first date out of the way. This is the time to follow up to see if you can get a second date or more. And if you can, whether you can keep that up.  

How It’s Like Marketing: 

• • You have to reach out sometimes more than once after that first meeting. No one wants to be annoying but persistence (and sometimes a little bit of aggressiveness) pays off both in dating and in marketing. The key is to keep them engaged (see the next point).
  • You have to keep them engaged by dripping out new bits about yourself and what you believe in as you go. Like dating, a large part of marketing is revealing little bits of yourself as a company as you go. That’s part of how you nurture individuals toward a sale. Maybe you start with your core narrative, demonstrate you content/topical expertise, or how you understand audience challenges. You don’t have to tell them your life story all in one shot. In fact, it’s almost better if do it over time because they’ll learn more about you at their own pace.
  • You’ll want to listen and observe what they say. On follow-up dates, if you’re not listening, that’s a big problem, as you’ll miss the chance to engage your potential partner on things that matter to them. Similarly, in marketing, it’s critical to listen to potential customers/clients because then you can better personalize your content to them.

Phase 3: Intimacy

In dating, let’s put it this way: This is the part where you close the deal. Your now-partner found you attractive enough and interesting enough over the course of getting to know you that he/she/they said “yes” to this critical step. In marketing terms, this would be equivalent to “converting” a lead to a sale.

How It’s Like Marketing:

• • You probably got to this point because you waited ‘til the right moment before you proposed/suggested this phase to your potential partner. As a marketing firm, we see this all the time. Too many companies propose the sale “on a first date” or with “that first impression.” It’s way too early in the process and is akin to asking someone to come home with you without even taking them to lunch. It can work sometimes. But most of the time (like in the dating world), you’ll often end up getting rebuffed. In the end, the best companies understand how to read the audience signals and time their outreach for conversion/sale at the right moment.
  • Like sex, conversions feel great. But an inevitable question comes up: Is this a one-night stand? Or are the products and services that you offer so good that after they have it, they want more? And do you follow up with them soon after (or at that right time again) when they’re ready?
  • You can’t take you partner for granted once they’re yours. It certainly happens in personal relationships. Two people “get together” but then, after those intimate moments, the attitude of one or both of them changes. Closing the deal was their end goal and they stop engaging with that person, moving their focus to the next person. On the marketing side, companies do this all the time too. They focus all their energies on acquiring new customers/clients, but they forget about converting the people who already are customers/clients. In other words, they take their existing customer base for granted.

Phase 4: Building a Long-Lasting Relationship or Marriage

Between people, the next phase can be tricky, but this is the period for figuring out how to keep a relationship going long-term.

How It’s Like Marketing:

• • You have to keep listening and checking in on how people are doing. As mentioned above (and over time this is especially true), people may start taking the individuals in their lives for granted. Maybe they stop cleaning up or maybe they’re not fully engaged in conversations as they were when they first started dating. They assume everything is OK but don’t really check in on feelings or emotions of their partners. Divorces happen this way (and also for many other reasons). Companies often act similarly. They can start to believe that mantra: “once a customer, always a customer” no matter what. They stop doing the little things, don’t provide that personalized attention they once did, and that’s when customers or clients leave.
  • Thinking long-term pays off. On the personal relationship side, we know a lot of people out there in the dating pool. They want to score now. That’s their focus (and it’s certainly is understandable). It’s fun, it makes them feel good today and keeps them going. But it’s also short-term. They’re not investing in a long-term relationship after all. Similarly, in marketing, you can certainly focus all your energy on getting sales today, but the question really is: Are you doing enough to build a better foundation for ongoing and sustainable demand into the future? To do that, you have to do a lot of things that don’t involve closing the deal today. And that includes investing in the brand, being consistent in how you project it, and setting up processes to better nurture prospective customers and/or fulfilling the ongoing needs of their existing customers. In other words, if you think long-term, you’ll be able to support your “marriage” with customers long into the future.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed our little foray into this topic. The bottom line: As is true between people, developing a marketing relationship with customers takes work. But the payoff when you do that work, we would argue, is always sweeter and longer lasting. If you need help with thinking through your customer strategy or need support in any marketing channel, don’t hesitate to contact us for a free consultation.